Goodbye, George

Two of my favorite books have been and will be - for the rest of my life - "Napalm and Silly Putty" and "Brain Droppings".

I was having trouble sleeping, so I was channel surfing a few minutes ago. Then I saw the news ticker on the bottom of the screen announce George's passing.

I feel heartsick.

He was one of the few comedians who possess a sharp wit and a sharper mind. Yes, he could be crude to some people. But he surpassed that surface crudeness with a take on the American way of life and the bigger picture of the world at large that was sheer brilliance.
He wasn't about bullshit. He may have used that word, or forms thereof, but his words - spoken and written - were the basest truth. His view of the world was funny - but it was also clear and honest and shared with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, "Did anyone else notice this?"

Witty, dry, sarcastic and brilliant.

I love his comedy records, I love his Hippy-Dippy WeatherMan, I love his stand-up routines, but most of all I love his work in the movies of my favorite writer/director ... Kevin Smith.

Watch Carlin in Dogma. Watch him in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. He's so damn funny.

But best of all, watch him in Jersey Girl. Watch his tenderness and vulnerability - covered up by a thick layer of gruffness. The last scene, with Affleck and then Carlin's on-screen granddaughter is sheer poetry. Makes me tear up every time.

I'll miss you George. But I will keep re-reading your books forever.

And to quote the man himself ...

There are nights when the wolves are silent ... and only the moon howls.
Brain Droppings 1997

Ha Ha Ha

The funniest thing I've heard in a week:

The kids were staying over at Hubby's parents house while we went to work the taverns last weekend.
I sent our daughter a text message at 11:30 - knowing she'd still be up - to remind her that Steve Carrell was on Saturday Night Live.
She answered me back, and then she called me. We chatted about what she and her brother had been doing, and then her seven-year-old brother got on the phone.
This is when the braying laughter started ...

Son: "Papaw is fixing the toilet."
Mom: "Really?"
Son: "Yeah. His glasses are in there."
Mom: "Oh, wow." (Kind of disinterested until the brain matter kicks in)
Mom: "Wait. Did he drop his glasses in there while trying to fix it - or did he drop his glasses in there and that's what caused the problem?"

My father-in-law is forever losing his dime store reading glasses that he just tucks carelessly in the front of his button-down shirts.

Son: "He was going potty and after he was done, when he bent down to flush, ummm, his glasses fell into the toilet. But he was already pushing the handle so the glasses got sucked down and now Papaw has to fix the toilet and try to get his glasses back."
Mom: "Honey, I don't think Papaw really wants those glasses back. I think by now he's just trying to fix the toilet."

During and after this phone call Hubby and I were laughing out loud for several minutes.

That was the best laugh I've had in a long time.

Talent Show

Here's the sweetest talent show performance you will ever see.

Unfortunately, I goofed up and hit the "off" button instead of the shutter / start button and so the first portion is missing. The first few (missing) seconds are highlighted by the entire audience saying, "Awwwwww" in unison.

If my fingers cooperated more often I would have tapped the correct button and you'd get the whole experience.

All the same, it's pretty darn cute.

But I'm a little biased.

Enjoy!

Random Blips

It's me again.

Just thought I'd share a few random tidbits and maybe make you laugh a little.


#1: My husband has been kidnapped by Pirates. Seriously.

He's been held captive by the online Pirates of the Caribbean game. He loved the free trial portion and then some well-meaning relative sealed the deal by purchasing the whole shebang for him as a birthday present. I've never been a football widow, 'cause I'm usually right next to him, screaming my head off during the games. But the whole Pirate thing? Meh.



#2: My eight-year old son was in the school talent show.

He tossed this bit of information out to us about a week before the audition. Hubby and I were unloading the dishwasher and tried to keep our voices calm and unsurprised while we asked him about the talent he was showing. Ahem. (I had visions of bodily function noises set to music.) He was roped into dancing with a friend that's a girl to the song Valentine. This little girl wanted him to wear a tux (I vetoed that) or at least a suit (Seriously?) and had him coming over to her house after school to practice ... one evening specifically set aside for her to show him how she wanted him to wear his hair for the show.

Hubby asked, "I thought girls started changing what guys wore and how they did their hair in high school. Isn't she a bit early for this?"
I had no answer.

After the performance, as all the parents (hers and his) were chatting ... my son threw her under the bus - right in front of her dad.
My son: "Did you see those three boys in the last dance act? Olivia has a crush on one of them!"

Her dad paled - my Hubby laughed out loud - I nearly sighed out loud with relief. I am soooo not ready for the whole girlfriend stage.


#3: My twelve-year old daughter is bored to tears, and she's only in the first two weeks of summer vacation.
(Our son is in year-round school so he's gone most of the day.) She mopes around the house, complaining hourly that she's bored. And of course her tedious, boring parents are no help at all ... every suggestion we can think of gets shot down by the PreTeen Princess. Sigh.

#4: I am trying to figure out why my hands and feet are on fire. No joke.

Every day the palms of my hands feel like they are burning. Some days, the soles of my feet join in to scream along with the palms. So, I have competitive feet?
I did the whole WebMD thing and found no solace.
It could be peripheral neuropathy (there is a history of diabetes in my family) or MS or Lyme Disease or (and this is my favorite - just because of the plain speaking language of the name) Burning Feet Syndrome. Of course, WebMD also gave me a handful of other frightening causes, some of which are neurological (read - brain disease) and scary as hell.
So, what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to keep wrapping my hands around cold glasses that I'm stashing in the freezer.

Other than that, I am still waiting to be paid by or contacted by my freelance client. She said she was going to pay me over a month ago and I still haven't seen or heard anything from her. I still have the second 25 articles for her but she's MIA.
I hope she didn't hate the last 25 articles I did for her - I didn't get that feeling from her when she read them over months ago. Maybe she's had second thoughts.
Frick.

On a happy note, I am re-establishing my decade-old love relationship with Lucas Davenport. For those of you that haven't encountered him - he is the hero of the Prey novels by John Sandford. I hadn't read them in a while, and happened to pick one off of my bookshelf, late one night after I'd read all my library books.
I'd forgotten how much I love this series, and after I'd reread my own books I had to make a specific library excursion just to get some that I hadn't read.
So, that's good.

Ummm ... nothing much else to report. The recent days and weeks have taken on a mind-numbing routine, with nothing new or Earth-shattering to talk about.

I will post the talent show performance soon - I expect to hear plenty of "awwwwws" from across the world after you all get a look at it.

Cheers!

Hello Again

Here I am, peeking my head up out of my burrow, sharing a rare daylight post. You see, in months past most of the blog post ideas seemed to magically appear in my brain long past sunset - closer to the witching hour. Actually, the majority of all my best writing ideas usually show up late at night. But right now - right this minute seemed a good time to check in and let you all know I'm alive and kicking. Prepare yourself for a quick, probably disjointed update.


I have been absent from my blogging world and friends for too long. My Google Reader is jam-packed!
I've been trying resist the magnetic pull of the blogs for the last few weeks. It's much too easy for me to lose several hours of prime work-time if I take even one quick peek at a favorite blog. That just opens up a can of worms and the next thing I know I've read every one in my Favorites list, commented on half of them, finally emptied my Google Reader - and haven't gotten one damn word written of real work.


Oh, and the other reason I've been AWOL for the past few weeks?


I ran out of words.


No, really.


What with working on the articles, writing reports for the mystery shopping visits, working on the book, and even just talking (stop snickering) ... I was tapped out. I couldn't think of a decent topic to post about. Even if I did come up with something, I would mull it over in my head, working out what I was going to say and poof! It would just vanish.


I know what you're thinking - you were going to suggest I try reading more. Well, I've somehow found a way to cram frequent trips to the library and many, many late-nights engrossed in one book or another into my daily schedule. I have thoroughly enjoyed myself, but for some reason it hasn't refilled the paltry word pantry (interesting twisty combination there, huh?) in my noggin.


Speaking of books ...
My daughter got me hooked on the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. I read Twilight on a Friday, New Moon on Saturday and Eclipse on Sunday. Crazy, huh? Then I had to pass them on to my mom (who also read them all in a few days) and when she was done I gave them to Anne. Thank goodness we're all fast readers. They're on loan from the library, and I had to request them. There are currently something close to 80 requests for them on the library's website, so we all had to read them while I had them or they would have to wait for weeks like I did. I'm a book hog but I'm willing to pay the late fees! So far I'm up to .75 cents.

The story is quite good, and we're all looking forward to seeing the Twilight movie in December. The fourth book in the series comes out in August, and I have a feeling we'll be in the bookstore at 12:01 a.m. that day. Yes, they are Young Adult books, but even us old ladies liked them.


So, that's my update. Still here, missing you all but trying not to give in to my desire to sit on my bed and blog (reading and writing them) all day every day. I am a happy hermit, you know? But then a few weeks go by and I realize I haven't been farther from my house than the kids' schools or the library (less than 2 miles) and that just can't be healthy, right?

I will check in more often - I promise. But now I'm going to be a good girl and get back to work.

Cheers!

Happy Birthday, Honey

I know I've been gone from the blog for a while, but I've got a really good reason for reappearing today. But first - the lame excuses for not blogging for over a week. The whole family has had a full calender lately, and time has been flying by. Katie has been getting ready for the end of her sixth grade school year. She's had her plate full with her choir concert, getting her yearbook, cleaning out her locker, taking pictures of friends at school, and final exams. Payt has been busy being a seven year old boy, going to school, doing his homework, then getting immersed in Playstation and making forts in the family room, and waiting impatiently for the pools at two of the grandparents' houses to be warm enough to swim in. And of course, Kirk and I have been busy with the mystery shopping tavern work and writing the reports. On top of all that, I've been working on the articles and my book - as well as reading a lot.

My really good reason for showing back up today is to share and celebrate my hubby's birthday with you all.

He's the greatest guy, my best friend, and a wonderful, caring and devoted husband and dad.

Did I ever tell you that when I was eleven my mom tried to get me to learn how to make a Thanksgiving turkey and I refused? When she asked what I was going to do when I grew up I answered, " I'm going to marry a man that cooks."

Guess what?

My husband is an amazing cook - I prefer his special creations over the fanciest restaurants. He has his own signature dishes like homemade tacos, which is a recipe that started with my dad's mom, she gave it to my mom, and then Mom gave it to Kirk. After a few tweaks, the whole family agrees he's made an amazing meal even better.
Then there is his garlic and wine steamers. Yes, steamed clams - and this is coming from a girl who wouldn't eat any seafood but lobster or crab until about 10 years ago. He has even convinced me to try halibut - and I loved it.
And I cannot forget to mention his chicken creole, which was the first meal he ever cooked for me when we were dating.
And all because of his talents in the kitchen - he's opened my mind to a whole new world of food I never would have tried before.

He's also a guy's guy without being a knuckle-dragging caveman. He'll stay up all night playing poker with his friends, go fishing and camping, and can fix most of the electronic gadgetry around the house. But he also never hesitated in changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night to give the kids a bottle, or kissing scraped knees and other boo-boos. He's one of the few men I know that doesn't see jobs around the house - or even outside the house - in a specific male / female category. We've divided the chores according to what we like to do (his cooking) or hate to do (my cooking) don't mind (my laundry) or just can't get the hang of (his laundry). Everything else gets done by one or both of us - if it gets done at all!

Aside from all that stuff - he's one of the most funny, snarky, and witty people I've ever known. We have the same twisted sense of humor, and can have fun doing the most ordinary things - even running errands or grocery shopping. He's taught me to play poker and Euchre and a few other card games, he plays my trivia games with me, and there's no rabid competition or ego-bruising no matter who wins.

I think back on how lucky I was - and how close I came to never meeting him at all. My close friend Beck kept trying to hook me up with a long-time friend of hers and I refused for months. The night I finally gave in and agreed to meet him changed my life. Literally.

I was so sure that it wasn't going to turn into anything that Beck and I invited him to join us and a bunch of friends at a bar whose bartender I was then dating! We were all just drinking beer and chatting when Beck suddenly got up and ran the door, jumping up and hugging this big tree of a guy with shoulder length hair, a beard and a UW Huskies sweatshirt. My friend CJ said, "Who's that?" and I answered, "I guess that's Kirk." In my head I was thinking, "THAT'S Kirk? That's the guy I've been avoiding all these months?" We talked and laughed all night, and his sense of humor impressed me immediately. Well, that and he was taller than me (a rarity) and darn good-looking!

I went back home that night, walked past my mother and made a beeline for my room. I sat on the floor of my closet with my chin on my knees and my arms wrapped around my folded legs. I think I was rocking back and forth - and maybe I was mumbling too. Beck stood outside the open closet door, laughing at me. My mom walked up to Beck and said, "What the matter with her?" Beck barely stopped laughing long enough to say, "She met Kirk." I looked at my mom and said, "I met the guy I'm going to marry." I just knew it.
I seriously was not expecting it. It scared the crap out of me. I thought it was just some silly little blind date - I was just going to meet him once and make Beck shut the hell up.

I met him 15 years ago this past January, and we'll be married 14 years in October.

Honey, I'm so glad I finally listened to Beck when she kept telling me she just knew we were right for each other. You are still my most favorite person in the whole wide world - and we've created two incredible kids together. You've always been supportive of my dreams - no matter how far-fetched anyone else thought they were.

I am the luckiest, most spoiled wife with the most wonderful husband I could ever ask for.

I love you ... Forever and Always. xoxoxoxo