Breathing Again

The fluttery, nervous anticipation has ceased. The sour bile of regret has relinquished it's perch at top of my throat. The self-doubt is no longer coloring my every waking moment.
I had finally reached a point where I could honestly let go of the gnawing, consuming distraction.

And just when it was nestled in the back of my mind - I got an email from Charlotte.

Her critique of the first 22 pages of my book.

(gulp)

With shaking fingers, I opened the email and the attached file. I must admit I was surprised to find that her critique was just over two pages long. I wasn't really expecting more than a note saying, "It doesn't suck too terribly bad. Keep trying." Or even, "Holy hell. Don't quit your day job. Oh, you already did? Can you get it back?"

I didn't expect such a detailed review, knowing Charlotte's schedule and the many hats she wears. I was more than pleasantly surprised and my heart rate increased a bit.

The results?

She addressed an issue with formatting and italics that I wasn't even aware of. Check. Easy to fix. In fact, I reformatted the spacing and removed the italics within the first hour after I read her review. She was right on the money - it looks and reads so much better now.

Aside from that, Charlotte had three main recommendations. To expand one scene a bit more, to show one character's emotions more than telling them, and to cut back on another scene. She gave me many more pieces of advice and direction, but I'm just going to pare it down for you.

(I, however, will be rereading each word daily for a long time to come ...)

I hadn't really thought about expanding that first scene more, but once I sat down and fleshed it out (yes, I did that immediately - after the formatting changes) it got so much better. It really seems to better show what I have been seeing in my head all these months. And I found myself becoming more interested in those two main characters - even though I created them and thought I knew them so well.
In fact, I'm more anxious to work on the book again to get to know them better.

I'm still working on "showing" rather than "telling" - if you've ever taken a writing class or read a book on writing you know that phrase very well. But it's fun. I am truly enjoying the mental stretching, exercise and process as much as I did when I first started to jot down notes on a yellow legal pad.

The funny part about the scene that needs to be cut back is that I had noticed something was wrong there whenever I reread it - but I had no idea what. It didn't occur to me that it could be so much better by reducing it. She's right on target, of course. That's why I kept hearing those clunking noises in my head. It meanders too long.

Lastly - here are the best juicy bits. Charlotte - I am taking liberties by quoting you directly and I hope you don't mind!

This piece has a lot of power and a lot of potential. It is a searing beginning and we get a good glimpse inside Sophie’s head and feel her emotions. You know, of course, that novels not only need a lot of conflict, but also need to start with conflict and you’ve got that covered here!

You have some very fine descriptions. (She likes my verbs!)

And the best one of all ...

I am very impressed with your writing, Lori, and hope that you’ll keep working on this novel.

Holy freakin' cow, man!

I'm all atwitter. And I'm falling in love with the writing and the writing process all over again. It's different than writing the articles and different from my scribbling here on the blog.

It's so amazing to have a critique done of your work that is supportive and encouraging, that offers accurate and useful advice. I never felt like she was giving false praise, or being too harsh or critical. The suggestions made a huge difference - and were spot on. It also helps to see your own work through someone else's eyes.

Charlotte - I can't thank you enough for your direction, advice and support. You are a gem!

UPDATE:

Charlotte liked this post so much she put one up on her blog about this one. Check out the comments for this post first, then stroll over to Word Strumpet and take a look.

I'm just going to sit here and fan myself. I'm so happy I may faint.

Cheers!