Whoo-Hoo!
Now, I am up to my elbows in the next 25. One of the first topics I'm currently researching is the trend of women wearing pasties in place of a bikini top at beaches and pools.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Now, I am a Vegas native, so I'm not bothered by - hell, I hardly notice - the scantily-clad women on the billboards, taxi ads, hotel signs and everywhere else around town.
And if those little 21 year old hotties with the flat stomachs and (ahem) enhanced ta-tas feel that the traditional bikini top is too cumbersome, creates unflattering tan lines, or is just too much material to wear (when it's 117 degrees outside, no one wants to wear too much clothing) ... well, whatever.
Tourists want to come to Vegas and throw off the restricting bonds of the hometown, and dress and behave as the Convention and Visitor's Authority tells them they should. You know, what happens in Vegas ... blah, blah, blah.
Do whatever makes your inner exhibitionist happy.
So, I got that article suggestion from my client (who witnessed it first-hand during a visit) and started my Web research right away. I tried a few different search engines - using "pasties instead of bikini top" and "pasties for pool and beach" and the like... when I came across this little gem.
(Prepare yourself)
Yep, that is exactly what it looks like. It is a crocheted (tiny) bikini bottom and pasties set.
I found it here:
http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/warning-almost-nudity/
What is actually more funny than the "outfit" (?) itself are the comments that go with it.
For the record - the entire site is good for a lot of laughs. I won't even begin to describe the "tampon cozy." (Merciful heavens, no ... I am so not joking!) You just have to see those for yourself.
Now, I'm going to go back to my research and writing and try to forget I ever saw this. But I just had to share it with you.
I'm giving like that.
8 comments:
When you said tampon cozy I actually thought you meant tampon. Like, a crocheted tampon. And then I screamed. And then I puked a little in my mouth. And then I re-read it. And then I felt stupid. And then I left this comment.
That is just so many levels of wrong....
Girl, what a sweet sweet job you have. Even in my ta-ta and flat stomach hey-day I don't think I would have worn one of those. Thanks for that laugh, though!
Maggie -
You make me laugh so much. Your comment was so damn funny I don't even have anything funny to say back. You slay me.
Jen-
As my 12 y/o says - "I know, right?" But you know I just had to share it. I shouldn't be the only one scarred for life.
NATUI-
I'd be lying if I said I don't pinch myself often to remind myself that this really is my JOB. A really nice lady pays me real money to do this. How the hell did I get so lucky?
And yeah, even back in my "best body" days I can't imagine wearing that. Not even by myself, in the dark. I think I'd laugh and one of them would go shooting across the room and stick on the wall.
Thank you for stopping by - I love your blog!
Oh, damn. No you didn't! Now I'll have this image every damned time I close my eyes. Joy.
I still say those pasties are to big in relation to the "panties" (read horrifying and way to small panties). Just another level of yuck on a big steaming pile of yuck. Of course I have had an extra day to digest (and expel) this phenomena as I usually get a sneak peak at the good stuff. Man I'm glad you are my friend.
Thanks for sharing this. The comments on the site really are hilarious!
Heather -
If I have to suffer it - so do my nearest and dearest.
Anne -
Think of all the horrible images you wouldn't have had to stomach if we weren't friends. AND you get to see them all as previews!
Vickie-
I know! I laughed out loud so many times.
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