Cheap Therapy

I have discovered a non-narcotic treatment for the blahs.

Interested? Thought you might be ...

This astounding discovery is very simple, as most truly good things are.

No trip to the doctor's office to try to explain your need for meds without a suspicious, eye-brow-raised look from the professional care-giver in the white coat. (Who you always secretly suspect of self-medicating with copious amounts of expensive scotch and more-expensive escorts.)

No baring those nasty skeletons in your mental closet and then getting blind-sided with a referral to a "mental health" facility where the staff seems to need more counseling than the patients you are surrounded by - all of you trying to look casual and comfortable while perched on hard plastic chairs that remind you of your oh-so-comfortable high-school bleachers.

Here is Dr. Lori's recent discovery and advised treatment plan:

1) Send the kids to bed.
This is not mandatory, but it helps to focus on your recovery.

2) Send the hubby to play Pirates of the Caribbean Online.
You won't see him again for days - unless you count him walking in front of the TV on the way to the potty every so often.

3) Find your favorite four-legged member of the family to stretch out on the bed next to you. Preferably one that won't snicker at you for laughing at jokes that he or she knows you've heard a thousand times. It's an added bonus if said furry friend snores like a freight train, and periodically chases (or is chased by) rabbits in her dreams.

4) Fix yourself a cocktail, and grab a handful of snacks.

5) Tune in to TV Land, find the M*A*S*H* Marathon and then just sit back and enjoy being transported back in time. You will simultaneously experience the early 1950's (the time of the Korean War) as well as your own life from the early 70's to the early 80's.
Feel free to let your mind wander back to the nights you watched the show in prime time - and don't forget to let your taste buds remind you of the dinners you ate while watching. Mine happens to be homemade macaroni and cheese casserole and a big glass of ice-cold milk.

For a few half-hour episodes, all the worries and troubles and anxiety of the outside world with go away. You'll laugh, you'll tear up, you'll mourn for Henry and feel sympathy for Radar. You'll guffaw at Hawkeye and if you're like me you'll renew your childhood crush on B.J.

Call me sentimental if you like. Call me nostalgic. I don't mind.

It worked for me - it can work for you too.

And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than the pharmacy co-pay.

Oddly disappointing but not surprising ...

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

The only "bad" word this blog-rater could find was "crack."

Really? That's it?

I mean, I know I reign in my inner-foulmouthed-sailor-self because my parents, in-laws and one of my kids reads this ... but seriously?

It's not as if my fam is so super-straight laced. My maternal grandmother's term of endearment for any of us 8 grand kids was "you little shit-heels." And no, I'm not really certain what that means but I am totally sure I don't want to know.

When I was about 10, I was talking about movies with my mom one day. I decided to be cutsie and say the movie title in a funny voice. Sadly, what came out of my mouth was, "Shitty, Shitty, Bang, Bang." I was mortified. My mom laughed till she almost peed, and then called her parents to share the story. They laughed too.

Growing up, the curse words hell, damn, and shit were just words that were tossed out in conversation. Randomly, but most likely when it made the statement funnier. I never thought of many curse words as being on the big Forbidden list. I mean, if my grandparents called someone a "damn piss ant" or a "sonofabitch"- it kinda removes the mystique, right?

Coming from a family of bookworms, sprinkling a ton of curses into a conversation was viewed as a sign of a vocabulary that was lacking. However, if it was a creative turn of phrase and happened to contain a little naughty word, well ... it was quite acceptable.

The only word that was never used was the big mamma-jamma "F" word. That one was the one I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole around family. Still don't, actually.

But if family isn't around, don't think the Big Naughty Word doesn't get dropped occasionally.

If family is, there's always the watered down but still indicative and mildly satisfying "frick."

If only I could score points (or would that be "get points deducted?") for the overuse of the word "frick" while being rated. I'd be sure to get at least an "R" rating, right?

Probably not.

Frick ...

As if there was one shred of doubt ...

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Science/Math Nerd
Musician
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Artistic Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

As if I had to reinforce my supreme nerdiness ... that first sentence in the descriptive paragraph up there bugs the crap out of me. Is it just me or are there a few words missing on the end there? "...insomniac appearance ... " What?

... sound like your perfect evening?

... describe most of your exciting Friday nights?

... explain why the librarians know you by name?

Wait. Did that say overly-critical?

Uh. Oh. Hmm.

Whoops.

Breathing Again

The fluttery, nervous anticipation has ceased. The sour bile of regret has relinquished it's perch at top of my throat. The self-doubt is no longer coloring my every waking moment.
I had finally reached a point where I could honestly let go of the gnawing, consuming distraction.

And just when it was nestled in the back of my mind - I got an email from Charlotte.

Her critique of the first 22 pages of my book.

(gulp)

With shaking fingers, I opened the email and the attached file. I must admit I was surprised to find that her critique was just over two pages long. I wasn't really expecting more than a note saying, "It doesn't suck too terribly bad. Keep trying." Or even, "Holy hell. Don't quit your day job. Oh, you already did? Can you get it back?"

I didn't expect such a detailed review, knowing Charlotte's schedule and the many hats she wears. I was more than pleasantly surprised and my heart rate increased a bit.

The results?

She addressed an issue with formatting and italics that I wasn't even aware of. Check. Easy to fix. In fact, I reformatted the spacing and removed the italics within the first hour after I read her review. She was right on the money - it looks and reads so much better now.

Aside from that, Charlotte had three main recommendations. To expand one scene a bit more, to show one character's emotions more than telling them, and to cut back on another scene. She gave me many more pieces of advice and direction, but I'm just going to pare it down for you.

(I, however, will be rereading each word daily for a long time to come ...)

I hadn't really thought about expanding that first scene more, but once I sat down and fleshed it out (yes, I did that immediately - after the formatting changes) it got so much better. It really seems to better show what I have been seeing in my head all these months. And I found myself becoming more interested in those two main characters - even though I created them and thought I knew them so well.
In fact, I'm more anxious to work on the book again to get to know them better.

I'm still working on "showing" rather than "telling" - if you've ever taken a writing class or read a book on writing you know that phrase very well. But it's fun. I am truly enjoying the mental stretching, exercise and process as much as I did when I first started to jot down notes on a yellow legal pad.

The funny part about the scene that needs to be cut back is that I had noticed something was wrong there whenever I reread it - but I had no idea what. It didn't occur to me that it could be so much better by reducing it. She's right on target, of course. That's why I kept hearing those clunking noises in my head. It meanders too long.

Lastly - here are the best juicy bits. Charlotte - I am taking liberties by quoting you directly and I hope you don't mind!

This piece has a lot of power and a lot of potential. It is a searing beginning and we get a good glimpse inside Sophie’s head and feel her emotions. You know, of course, that novels not only need a lot of conflict, but also need to start with conflict and you’ve got that covered here!

You have some very fine descriptions. (She likes my verbs!)

And the best one of all ...

I am very impressed with your writing, Lori, and hope that you’ll keep working on this novel.

Holy freakin' cow, man!

I'm all atwitter. And I'm falling in love with the writing and the writing process all over again. It's different than writing the articles and different from my scribbling here on the blog.

It's so amazing to have a critique done of your work that is supportive and encouraging, that offers accurate and useful advice. I never felt like she was giving false praise, or being too harsh or critical. The suggestions made a huge difference - and were spot on. It also helps to see your own work through someone else's eyes.

Charlotte - I can't thank you enough for your direction, advice and support. You are a gem!

UPDATE:

Charlotte liked this post so much she put one up on her blog about this one. Check out the comments for this post first, then stroll over to Word Strumpet and take a look.

I'm just going to sit here and fan myself. I'm so happy I may faint.

Cheers!

Click, click, whirr ...

Hear that sound? That's the sound of the gears and wheels and levers of change.

Just when you think Karma has nothing better to do with her time than to poop on your parade; just when you think things aren't ever going to get better - you bear your heart and soul, wounds and scars and idiosyncrasy for the world to see ...

... and slowly but surely, things start to get better.

Things have changed since my Screaming Out Loud post. There hasn't been a miraculous appearance of a "normal" 9 to 5 job offer - but something that may turn out to be better than the "norm."

My dad has received several phone calls in the last week or so from other tavern owners that are interested in our services. The first clients were apparently quite pleased with the reports and information we provided, and have mentioned us to other owners. If this continues, this could mean that Kirk and I would be able to make money simply by going out on date nights and turning up our observational skills. When this branch of my dad's business was at it's peak, he had 35 clients. I won't be so tacky as to share the numbers, but let's just say it pays well.
Hell, it helped him pay for my wedding!
Dad thinks I described it perfectly when I said he'd rather be at home, watching Leno than doing the mystery shops. He's perfectly happy to be the contact man for the clients, let us do the work, and then let us receive the profits. All the profits.
It will take some time to build up the client base again, but if the last time was any indication, it won't take long.
So the initial motivation of quitting our day jobs a year ago may be fulfilled. We still get to spend more time with the kids, and each other. And make a decent living doing it.
That, my friends, is a gift beyond description.


Speaking of gifts ... my parents (who have been divorced for 27 years) ambushed me Tuesday night. I was expecting my dad to drop by with our first paycheck (yay!) and I opened the door to find my dad AND mom walking to the door.
They put their little heads together and came up with the Most Awesome birthday gift for me. (Yes, it was a few days late but there were some stomach-flu bugs flying around that delayed things a trifle. But am I complaining? Hell, NO !!)

Yes, I am a spoiled only child. I admit it. My 14th birthday present was two tickets to my first concert - Van Halen's 1984 concert tour. My 17th birthday present was a car - a 1984 Ford Escort. (Weird coinkindink in the year, there, huh?)

This year? A Sony Cyber-Shot camera! Whoo-Hoo!
You all can expect many more posts with pictures from now on.
(Although I suspect my mom was motivated to suggest this for a gift so I'd finally return her camera. Yes, that was the one I used for the birthday blowout cake video. And yes, it's the same type of camera so I've pretty much got it figured out.)

On a different topic ...
I haven't heard anything from the author and creative writing teacher that is critiquing the first 22 pages of my novel. But, oddly enough, that's OK.
Seriously.
Once we hit the one week mark since I sent it to her - I just stopped stressing about it.
I'd almost rather not hear anything from her again than hear that she thinks it's crap.
I know that one must have a "hook" to grab the reader's attention within the first page or so, but after rereading those damned first 22 pages I'm not sure it's there. If it is, it's a tiny little goldfish hook.
I'd rather see the book as a Hansel and Gretel kind of story. It leaves little treats and enticements every so often to get you to keep turning the pages. Granted, the treats may be tiny Smarties, but you can't eat just one. Trust me, I know. Ask my dentist.

So, my friends, it appears the tide is changing. And even if the skies darken again, and the tide starts to rise again, I think it's going to be alright.
I'll just sit here on my little Island of Peace and let the waves crash over my toes...

... if nothing else, I'll take some great pictures of the tidal wave!

The Day

My birthday was a really good day. We met with our clients, and they were really happy with the work Kirk and I had done last weekend. In fact, they hired us to visit another one of their locations this weekend. And my dad got calls from three other owners the same day who had apparently talked with our current clients, liked what they heard and wanted to hire us also. Whoo-Hoo!!

I prefer low-key birthdays. I really don't like all the fuss and attention directed at me. Weird, I know. I just hung out with Kirk and the kids that night, and it was great.

The best part was when Kirk and Payton were making my birthday cake. You have to get a little history first and know that Kirk is the cook in our house. Actually, he's the chef of our house because he really enjoys cooking, it relaxes him, and he's damned good at it. I tend to burn things and cause people to ask for the number for the poison control center when I attempt to cook. (The only kitchen skills I can boast about is the fact that I make better pancakes than Kirk, and a killer pumpkin pie! Killer in a good way, not a poisonous way.)

So, Kirk wanted to make my birthday cake, and Payton insisted on helping. We suspect that Payton got his hand on the speed button on the mixer, but can't be sure.

Anyhoo ... Kirk hollered for me to come downstairs and the following video is what I recorded for posterity (after I saw the state of things, I made a mad dash upstairs to grab the camera).
I just have to warn you - the house is a wreck 'cause I don't clean often, least of all on my birthday. So don't look at the mess behind everyone. And you must remember that my husband is a fantastic cook, makes cakes all the time and has NEVER had the following event happen before. (Again, we seriously suspect some 7 year old involvement.) And Payton wasn't really hitting me, just smacking my arm and making the camera jiggle. He's a boy and kinda wild at times but he'd never actually hit me. He knows better!
You have to know our family to know that we are joking and teasing throughout the whole thing - Kirk may look angry but he's really not. And listen for Kirk's comment at the end about what I'm going to do with the footage ...

So, without further ado ... I present The Birthday Cake Blowout .....

Momo!!!!!!!!!

HI peoples!!!! This is Lori's WONDERFUL, innocent, kids! Kaitlin,11 and Payton, 7 1/2. Ha-ha just kidding on the whole innocent part. Today is our beautiful momo's birthday. Oh and just to warn you ahead of time momo is my (katie's) word for her. Today momo was happy about her birthday being today. We have a amazing momo. She makes sure we get to school on time and that we're fed and taken care of and that's just the little things. If I were to list all the amazing things she does for us you people would be reading and reading this post FOREVER! She helps my little brother get to sleep when he's tired and just can't or when he's scared. (payton: HEY!!)

We did get her OCD and DMD. For people that don't know what DMD is, it's "Decision Making Disorder." But we love her for that =] It's also funny to be able to tell people we have it, but I love being able to tell people I got it from her. Just kidding momo. =] (oh and just to tell you katie is being OCD right now...im putting the pictures in chronological order) She has soooooooo many amazing brilliant talents! She is an amazing writer, reader, mom (of course), has a good taste in sports teams! (GO 49ers!!! GO RED WINGS!!!! sorry I (Katie) had to put that)

The hardest thing for her birthdays is what to do. She always says she doesnt want to do anything, but we always have something up our sleeves. This year my dad started making her a double-decker cake. But.....well I'll wait for her to tell you guys about that. We're making her this post (but this is fun and we're glad to do this), my grandma got her flowers, and we're going to try again to make a cake. =]

So wish our wonderful momo a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and hope you enjoyed

this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May Eighth

Were you all wondering about the major significance of May 8th? I thought you might be. So, here I am, sharing all this wonderful (useless bar-trivia) knowledge with you all.

That's what kind of friend I am.

On May 8th, over the recorded history of time (listed on Wikipedia) the following events took place ...


589 - Reccared summons the Third Council of Toledo
1450 - Jack Cade's Rebellion: Kentishmen revolt against King Henry VI.
1541 - Hernando de Soto reaches the Mississippi River and names it Río de Espíritu Santo.
1794 - Branded a traitor during the Reign of Terror by revolutionists, French chemist Antoine Lavoisier, who was also a tax collector with the Ferme Générale, was tried, convicted, and guillotined all on one day in Paris.
1821 - Greek War of Independence: The Greeks defeat the Turks in Gravia.
1846 - Mexican-American War: The Battle of Palo Alto – Zachary Taylor defeats a Mexican force north of the Rio Grande in the first major battle of the war.
1861 - American Civil War: Richmond, Virginia, is named the capital of the Confederate States of America.
1877 - At Gilmore's Gardens in New York City, the first Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show opens (ends May 11).
1886 - Pharmacist John Styth Pemberton invents a carbonated beverage that would later be named "Coca-Cola".
1898 - The first games of the Italian Football League are played.
1899 - The Irish Literary Theatre in Dublin opens.
1902 - In Martinique, Mount Pelée erupts, destroying the town of Saint-Pierre and killing over 30,000 people. Only a handful of residents survive the blast.
1914 - Paramount Pictures is formed.
1919 - Edward George Honey first proposed the idea of a moment of silence to commemorate The Armistice of World War I, which later resulted in the creation of Remembrance Day.
1933 - Mohandas Gandhi begins a 21-day fast in protest of British oppression in India.
1942 - World War II: The Battle of the Coral Sea comes to an end. This is the first time in the naval history where two enemy fleets fight without visual contact between warring ships.
1942 - World War II: Gunners of the Ceylon Garrison Artillery on Horsburgh Island in the Cocos Islands rebelled in the Cocos Islands Mutiny. Their mutiny was crushed and three of them were executed, the only British Commonwealth soldiers to be executed for mutiny during the Second World War.
1945 - Hundreds of Algerian civilians are killed by French Army soldiers in the Sétif massacre.
1945 - Combat in Europe ends in World War II: V-E Day. German forces agree to an unconditional surrender.
1945 - End of the Prague uprising, today still celebrated as national holiday in the Czech Republic
1946 - The Estonian school girls Aili Jõgi and Ageeda Paavel blow up the Soviet memorial that preceded the Bronze Soldier in Tallinn.
1967 - The Philippine province of Davao is split into three: Davao del Norte, Davao del Sur, and Davao Oriental.
1970 - The Hard Hat riot occurs in the Wall Street area of New York City as blue-collar construction workers clash with anti-war demonstrators protesting the Vietnam War.
1972 - Vietnam War – U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announces his order to place mines in major North Vietnamese ports in order to stem the flow of weapons and other goods to that nation.
1973 - A 71-day standoff, between federal authorities and the American Indian Movement members occupying the Pine Ridge Reservation at Wounded Knee, South Dakota, ends with the surrender of the militants.
1982 - Formula One driver Gilles Villeneuve dies in a crash during practice for the 1982 Belgian Grand Prix at Zolder.
1984 - The Soviet Union announces that it will boycott the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, California.
1984 - Cpl. Denis Lortie enters the Quebec National Assembly and opens fire, killing three and wounding 13. René Jalbert, sergeant-at-arms of the assembly, succeeds in calming him, for which he will later receive the Cross of Valour.
1987 - The Loughgall ambush: The SAS kill 8 IRA soldiers and 1 civilian, in Loughgall, Northern Ireland.
1988 - A fire at Illinois Bell's Hinsdale Central Office triggered an extended 1AESS outage once considered the 'worst telecommunications disaster in US telephone industry history' is still the worst to occur on Mother's Day.
1990 - Reindependence Day of Estonia
1997 - A China Southern Airlines Boeing 737 crashes on approach into Shenzhen's Huangtian Airport, killing 35 people.
1999 - Nancy Mace becomes the first female cadet to graduate from The Citadel military college.
2005 - The new Canadian War Museum opens, in commemoration of the 60th anniversary of V-E Day.
2007 - A new Northern Ireland Executive is formed under the leadership of Ian Paisley of the Democratic Unionist Party as First Minister and Martin McGuinness of Sinn Féin as Deputy First Minister.

Coca-Cola, The Irish Literary Theatre, Paramount Pictures and V-E Day ...and so much more...


And, just in case you were interested ... the following births took place on May 8th...


1326 - Joanna I of Auvergne, queen of France (d. 1360)
1460 - Frederick I, Margrave of Brandenburg-Ansbach (d. 1536)
1521 - Petrus Canisius, Dutch Jesuit (d. 1597)
1587 - Victor Amadeus I, Duke of Savoy (d. 1637)
1622 - Claes Rålamb, Swedish statesman (d. 1698)
1629 - Niels Juel, Danish admiral (d. 1697)
1632 - Heino Heinrich Graf von Flemming, German marshal (d. 1706)
1653 - Claude-Louis-Hector de Villars, Marshall of France (d. 1734)
1668 - Alain-René Lesage, French writer (d. 1747)
1670 - Charles Beauclerk, 1st Duke of St Albans, English soldier (d. 1726)
1735 - Sir Nathaniel Dance-Holland, English painter (d. 1811)
1738 - Mikhail Kamensky, Russian general (d. 1809)
1753 - Miguel Hidalgo Mexican revolutionary (d. 1811)
1786 - Jean Vianney, French Catholic priest (d. 1859)
1821 - William Henry Vanderbilt, member of the Vanderbilt family (d. 1885)
1825 - George Bruce Malleson, Indian officer (d. 1898)
1828 - Jean Henri Dunant, Founder of the Red Cross; Nobel laureate (d. 1910)
1828 - Sharbel Makhluf, Lebanese monk (d. 1898)
1829 - Louis Moreau Gottschalk, American musician (d. 1869)
1839 - Adolphe-Basile Routhier, French Canadian lyricist (O Canada) (d. 1920)
1842 - Emil Christian Hansen, Danish physiologist (d. 1909)
1847 - Oscar Hammerstein I, American theater producer and impresario (d. 1919)
1850 - Ross Barnes, baseball player (d. 1915)
1853 - Dan Brouthers, baseball player (d. 1932)
1858 - John Meade Falkner, English novelist (d. 1932)
1859 - Johan Jensen, Danish mathematician (d. 1925)
1884 - Harry S. Truman, President of the United States (d. 1972)
1893 - Edd Roush, baseball player (d. 1988)
1893 - Teddy Wakelam, English sports broadcaster and rugby union player (d. 1963)
1895 - James H. "Dutch" Kindelberger, American aerospace pioneer (d. 1962)
1895 - Fulton J. Sheen, American bishop (d. 1979)
1895 - Edmund Wilson, American writer (d. 1972)
1899 - Arthur Q. Bryan, American voice actor (d. 1959)
1899 - Friedrich Hayek, Nobel laureate (d. 1992)
1901 - Turkey Stearnes, baseball player (d. 1979)
1902 - Andre Michael Lwoff, Nobel laureate (d. 1994)
1903 - Fernandel, French actor (d. 1971)
1904 - John Snagge, British radio personality (d. 1996)
1905 - Red Nichols, American musician (d. 1965)
1906 - Roberto Rossellini, Italian director (d. 1977)
1910 - Andrew E. Svenson, American children's book author and publisher (d. 1975)
1911 - Robert Johnson, American blues musician (d. 1938)
1913 - Bob Clampett, American animator (d. 1984)
1914 - Romain Gary, Polish writer (d. 1980)
1916 - João Havelange, Brazilian industrialist
1916 - Swami Chinmayananda, Indian spiritualist (d. 1993)
1919 - Lex Barker, American actor (d. 1973)
1920 - Saul Bass, American graphic designer (d. 1996)
1920 - Tom of Finland, Finnish fetish artist (d. 1991)
1920 - Sloan Wilson, American author (d. 2003)
1925 - Ali Hassan Mwinyi, President of Tanzania
1926 - David Attenborough, English naturalist
1926 - Don Rickles, American comedian
1927 - Chumy Chúmez, Spanish film director (d. 2003)
1928 - Theodore Sorenson, American writer
1929 - Claude Castonguay, Quebec politician
1929 - Miyoshi Umeki, Japanese-born Academy Award-winning actress (d. 2007)
1930 - Heather Harper, Irish singer
1930 - Gary Snyder, American poet
1932 - Julieta Campos, Cuban-Mexican writer (d. 2007)
1932 - Phyllida Law, Scottish actress
1932 - Sonny Liston, American boxer (d. 1970)
1935 - Princess Elisabeth of Denmark, 7th in the Line of succession to the Danish Throne
1935 - Jack Charlton, English footballer
1937 - Carlos Gaviria Díaz, Colombian politician
1937 - Thomas Pynchon, American novelist
1937 - Mike Cuellar, baseball player
1940 - Peter Benchley, American author (d. 2006)
1940 - Ricky Nelson, American singer (d. 1985)
1940 - Irwin Cotler, Canadian politician
1941 - Mahmoud Ahmed, Ethiopian singer
1941 - John Fred, American singer (d. 2005)
1941 - Bill Lockyer, American politician
1942 - Terry Neill, Northern Irish footballer
1943 - Toni Tennille, American singer
1943 - Paul Samwell-Smith, British bassist (The Yardbirds)
1944 - Gary Glitter, English singer
1945 - Keith Jarrett, American musician
1946 - André Boulerice, Quebec politician
1947 - H. Robert Horvitz, Nobel laureate
1948 - Felicity Lott, English singer
1948 - Steve Braun, baseball player
1948 - Stephen Stohn, Canadian television producer (Degrassi)
1950 - Robert Mugge, American music documentary film maker
1951 - Philip Bailey, American singer (Earth, Wind & Fire)
1951 - Chris Frantz, American musician (Talking Heads)
1953 - Alex Van Halen, Dutch drummer (Van Halen)
1953 - Billy Burnette, American singer and guitarist (Fleetwood Mac)
1954 - David Keith, American actor
1957 - Bill Cowher, American football coach
1957 - Marie Myriam, French singer
1960 - Franco Baresi, Italian footballer
1960 - Eric Brittingham, American bassist
1961 - Janet McTeer, British actress
1961 - David Winning, Canadian film director
1963 - Terry Christian, British radio presenter
1963 - Sylvain Cossette, Quebec singer and songwriter
1963 - Anthony Field, Australian musician and actor
1963 - Robin Jarvis, British writer
1963 - Izabela Kloc, Polish politician
1964 - Melissa Gilbert, American actress
1964 - Bobby Labonte, American race car driver
1964 - Dave Rowntree, British musician (Blur)
1966 - Claudio Taffarel, Brazilian footballer
1966 - Marta Sánchez, Spanish singer
1968 - Jamie Summers, American porn star
1968 - Johan Pehrson, Swedish politician
1968 - Nathalie Normandeau, Quebec politician
1969 - Akebono Taro, sumo wrestler
1970 - Luis Enrique, Spanish football player
1972 - Darren Hayes, Australian singer
1972 - Ray Whitney, Canadian ice hockey player
1973 - Hiromu Arakawa, Japanese artist
1974 - Jon Tickle, English entertainer
1974 - Korey Stringer, American football player (d. 2001)
1975 - Enrique Iglesias, Spanish singer
1975 - Jussi Markkanen, Finnish ice hockey player
1975 - Gastón Mazzacane, Argentine racing driver
1976 - Martha Wainwright, Canadian musician and songwriter
1976 - Ian "H" Watkins, pop singer (Steps)
1978 - Jang Woo Hyuk, Korean singer
1978 - Matthew Davis, American actor
1978 - Lúcio, Brazilian footballer
1978 - Josie Maran, American model
1980 - Michelle McManus, Scottish singer
1980 - Benny Yau, Canadian entertainer
1981 - Andrea Barzagli, Italian footballer
1981 - Björn Dixgård, Swedish guitarist
1981 - Yasuko Tajima, Japanese swimmer
1981 - John Maine, American baseball player
1982 - Adrian Gonzalez, American baseball player
1983 - Matt Willis, British singer
1984 - Nadine Chandrawinata, 2006 Miss Universe Pageant (Indonesia)
1985 - Mashio Miyazaki, Japanese actress
1986 - Marvell Wynne, American soccer player



Oscar Hammerstein I, Harry S. Truman, Bishop Fulton Sheen, Roberto Rossellini, Lex Barker, David Attenborough, Don Rickels (saw him in concert at a very young age) Phyllida Law (fantastic actress and mother of Emma Thompson, who is one of my all time favorite actresses), Sonny Liston, Thomas Pynchon, Peter Benchley, Ricky Nelson, Toni Tennille (yes, I loved the Captain and Tennille), Phillip Bailey (Earth, Wind and Fire), Alex Van Halen ( Oh My Gawd did I love Van Halen ... words cannot express ...), David Keith (hubba, hubba), Melissa Gilbert (I grew up with her while watching Little House on the Prairie) .....those are my personal favorites.

Besides the birth of Luis Enrique and the Hard Hat Riot in NYC ... one other little event took place on May 8th, 1970.

The birth of yours truly.

Yep, I'm 38 years old today.

My kids are planning on posting a birthday tribute to me sometime today. All I can say is brace yourselves. I have no idea what they will write, and I doubt they will let me proof-read it and correct the spelling errors and my daughter's conscious avoidance of capitalization.

But I'm bracing myself and believe I'm well prepared.

I think ...

Waiting ...

Remember a few weeks back when I was whooping and hollering about winning that contest on Charlotte's (WordStrumpet) blog? And I had my choice of a coaching session or manuscript critique?

Well, in our first few emails to each other I told her I would like the coaching session. I wanted her to help me to structure my freelance writing schedule and still fit some novel-writing time in too. She was very kind and said that sounded good to her, and we chose a time frame that worked for both of our schedules.

Then a few weeks passed and I started to get hints dropped on my head about working harder and more often on the novel. Don't think I'm weird - OK, you all know I am - but don't think I'm weirder than you already knew. It just felt like the Universe was trying to tell me something. The first one or two could just be coincidence, but the last two were fuh-ree-kee. (Say that out loud if I lost you there.)

So, I sent dear Charlotte ... dear patient, understanding Charlotte an email last week asking if I could change my choice. I briefly explained the whole Universe-hinting idea and she was very agreeable.

That's the good part.

The scary part is that I sent off the first 22 pages of my manuscript to her this morning. She was nice enough to send an email letting me know she had received it and would read it and get back to me with her review and critique as soon as she could. She understands how nerve-wracking it is to wait for a critique.

The upshot to this whole thing is that I had a week to read and edit and polish those pages before I sent them. And from the first time I read it, I was happy with it. I actually blushed a little when I told Kirk I thought it was pretty darn good. I tweaked a little - just a word here and there - but not much.

And now...

I reread those same pages 5 minutes after I knew she had received them. And you know what? Suddenly they are crap. I mean it. Utter shit. What the hell was I thinking? Aaaaaargh !!!

Logical mind chimes in ...

I trust her. I know she's going to be honest and fair. And I'm OK with that. I don't want to hear false praise. It is what it is.

Emotional wreck living in my head answers back ...

Frick, frick, frickitty, frick!

Characters

The hubby and I had an interesting couple of days.... I mean nights. We did the mystery shop at a neighborhood tavern Friday and Saturday night. The kids were at the grandparents' houses for the weekend so we didn't have to worry about having a curfew - which was really nice.

But it's been quite a while since we've gone out TWO nights in a row and not returned home before 3 a.m. In fact, I am very sure that it was years and years ago.

It feels like it was a hundred years ago.

Or is it that I feel like I'm a hundred years old? (sigh)

The tavern is actually pretty great. Nice decor, good food, and friendly staff and patrons. It's the kind of place we'd actually like to hang out even if we weren't hired to do so. And if, you know, we actually had a social life and went out more than once every six months.

Of course, like any bar anywhere - there was a light sprinkling of wackos in the with ordinary people. We got to see arguments that almost escalated into a fight on both nights, and a table and chair got knocked over in a fit of testosterone-fueled rage during one of those nights.

The only casualty was a broken ashtray. But no punches were thrown, no blood was spilled, and soon after the shouting died down, everyone went back to their bottles and glasses and cigarettes and video poker games.

I confess that 99% of my brain was focused on the job to be done, and watching for all those no-no's that so often occur in a bar.

But that remaining 1%? That was in full-on blog-material-seeker-mode.

Just for you folks.

Let me tell you about some of the people we encountered ...

There's the petite little lady who severely misjudged her alcohol tolerance. Whenever she had to walk any where - usually to the bathroom and then back to her bar stool - she walked with both hands grabbing onto anything that was stationary, taking tiny little unsure steps.

It was very much like watching a toddler get the hang of walking by holding onto furniture. The only difference being that the toddler seems to get better with each attempt. By the end of the evening, as her boyfriend steered her out the door, all I could think was how likely it was that she was going to barf in his truck on the way home.

There was the group of late-20-somethings who were obviously trying to rekindle the college drinking nights of old. The did everything but play quarters on the table. They did shots and pounded beers and reminisced.

They talked of friends they had lost touch with as each one got married and had kids, and how those old friends wouldn't come out and drink with them any more. I was seeing them through my own experienced eyes. I could relate to the changes that occur when your circle of friends start "growing up" and having families.

Then I overheard two of the guys talking, away from the rest of the gang. And I admit I lost a little of the kinship and fondness I was feeling for the group. You see, they were out celebrating the fact that the only couple in the group was expecting a little bundle of joy of their own.

Yes, that little blonde with the cute pixie haircut ... the one tossing back shots like it was Spring Break?

The one matching her husband/boyfriend beer for beer?

She's at a bar, celebrating (?) the fact that she's two months pregnant.

Then there's the plant. A plant is a person who sits at the bar and plays a video gambling machine so long that you really wouldn't be surprised to see a root system under her bar stool. This is a lady in her mid-forties who is nursing Baileys on the rocks, chain smoking, and playing video Keno. She never looks around, never takes her eyes off the video screen, never talks with anyone but the bartender.

Now, meet the bespectacled young couple. Early 20's, almost the same shade of brown hair, matching flip flops. Obviously dating for a just few months, they are laughing, talking, nuzzling and sharing quick kisses. Very tasteful and non-offensive PDA. When the bar gets busier, he offers his lap for her to perch on until another bar stool opens up. She giggles and climbs up. She sits with her arm around his shoulders, leaning in to rest her head against his or kiss his cheek. Gradually, their conversation becomes softer and more intimate. When they say good bye to friends and leave for the evening, they stroll out with arms wrapped around each other, her head resting on his shoulder.
I saw more than a few older couples glance at them, wistful little smiles on their faces, remembering the early days of their own romances.

Well, there's a sample. Funny and sad and sweet. Just your typical evening out with the usual bar patrons. With the exception of the video gaming, I'm fairly certain you see the same group at your local bar and grill on the average weekend night.

All things considered, it was pretty damn fun for a job we're getting paid for.

Let's see ... listen to good music on the (digital) jukebox, eat bar food, watch Sportscenter on a huge-ass big screen TV, drink and laugh with my favorite person.

Twist my arm. I just might be talked into doing this again.

New Adventure

Want to hear something really cool? My dad is a private investigator.

Seriously.

He has been for the last 30+ years.

And yes, it did make dating very interesting after a prospective suitor found out his occupation.

Over the years, he's taken many different types of cases.

He's done the insurance scam stuff - documenting proof that someone that was "disabled" could change his own tire when no one was looking.

He tried the personal stuff, like cheating spouses and nasty divorce investigations, but quit them because it just wasn't his cup of tea. Those are nothing but unpleasant and uncomfortable.

Dad found his niche working for small businesses and large corporations, doing casino surveillance, employee observations, security evaluations and recommendations, suspected theft investigations - just to name a few.

His only child is a girl.

He never considered that fact relevant to my tagging along on his jobs, thank God. He was happy to share that world with me, and I soaked it all up. He worked as a consultant and investigator with different hotel / casinos, so we'd visit a few each night. I spent countless nights of my childhood in The Eye in the Sky of a casino, contentedly sitting in front of surveillance monitors - or, as in some of the older ones, peering over the edge of the makeshift catwalk looking directly down at the tables - hoping to catch a cheat. I was allowed because I was "Bob's daughter." I knew how to wrangle a comp from one of the casino bosses or my dad when I got hungry, and I always knew right where the coffee shop was. In fact, I roamed around - in many places I probably shouldn't have been - like the roof. And yes, Dad knew and he thought it was funny. Besides, what kind of security could a hotel / casino have if a 9 year old girl can easily gain rooftop access?

I think it's safe to trace my OCD and "spooky" (per my husband) observational skills back to those days. And I am quite happy to own them. My little mind was shaped and trained to genuinely see the world and people around me. I have seen people try to rig a slot machine a hundred different ways. I've seen the shoes cheats made with touch pads to count cards with their toes. I've seen dealers fake deal, steal chips, and tip off players who were actually accomplices.

Then I got older and got to work with my dad while he mystery shopped. I can sit in a bar or restaurant and tell you if the bartender is over pouring, under pouring, giving fake comps, not ringing drinks properly, or pretending to ring up the drinks and palming the money. And best of all - the bartender has no idea how closely I'm watching.

They tend to underestimate me - just write me off as another chick at the bar.

And that's fine by me.

When I was a kid I wanted to be the youngest woman to get a PI license in the state of Nevada.

But then I got into eye care, and got married, and the kids were born.

All this history is necessary background for the next part of my story.

My dad has pretty much stopped doing the mystery shopping. The past few years he hired a few trainees, but they never worked out for long. When Kirk and I were dating and then newly married, we worked for Dad whenever he needed us. Dad just didn't want to do "the shops" much himself anymore, because you usually have to do the visits late at night. And now, he'd rather be in bed, watching Leno.

So, a few days ago, when he got a call from a bar owner requesting a mystery shop - Dad asked me if Kirk and I would want the job.

Hell Yes!

We get a few date nights, get advance money to spend on drinks and bar food (one of my favorite food groups) and then get paid by the client after I write up and submit the report.

Honestly? Forget that the money is good. Forget the date night bonus. Forget the yummy food.

I am so totally stoked to be doing this work again. I had forgotten just how much fun it is.

I love turning up my antennae and noticing every little thing.

I love picking out the cheaters and dishonest people.

I especially loved meeting with the client a few days ago and suggesting a few things for the nights of the surveillance that might help this particular "shop" and having my dad agree that they were good ideas.

Dude, I learned from the master.

I can't give specific details, of course, but I'll tell you what I can about the job once it's over. I am really, really looking forward to this new adventure.